Borderlands - Son of a Bitch that hurt!

Borderlands -

Looks like it was filmed in the 70s in a good way. Another vaguely based on a true story movie. Drug running cult uses human sacrifice to make themselves "invisible".

Typical grouping of cocky asshole in ugly shirt, nice but confused guy & quieter nice guy who's going to do things against his nature. They hook up with chicks/prostitutes cause apparently that's what white guys do when they go to Mexico. One hooker has a baby in the room with them which makes her a good person somehow. Started to get bored after this so spent the rest of the movie wasting time on Facebook while watching it.

They do drugs, Rider gets kidnapped by Sean Astin. Shy dude has unprotected sex. Some other stuff happens. Douchey guy dies, thank goodness. Rider is hung upside down and evil bad guy with horrible tattoos cuts something on him but I can't really figure out what it is. Originally thought it was his shoulder but could have been some part of his leg. The effect was just bad. Up until this point it (the effects) had been pretty good til that happened.

People die. Lost track of what was happening because apparently my farm was more exciting. Which brings us to my favorite part of the film.

"Son of a bitch that hurt"  - Sean Astin remarks after getting hit in the head with a machete. Not just nicked but whacked full on in the skull. Not in a screaming oh my god thats f*cking painful way but in a casual we need to pick up some milk at the store way. Sorry I just can't buy Sam Hobbit/Goonie Mikey as a tough guy villain. He looks more like the character he played in 50 First Dates just dirtier.

Rider Strong needs to go to the gym or tan or something, just not pretty to look at. I do neither of these things but it's ok because I am not an actor nor am I running around in my underwear on television. He does look better than he did in Cabin Fever and he's still a better actor than everyone else.

Ok upon looking for an image of this movie I discovered it was one of the "8 Films to Die For" in 2007. Take what you want from that. Honestly this movie may not have been as horrible as I'm making it out to be but then again it might. It's on Fearnet right now so you can watch it for free. Which automatically makes it more enjoyable than having to pay for it. 

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